One hallmark of exemplary leadership is the ability to inspire cooperation among others. Control Freaks, on the other hand, do motivate by dangling a long carrot. But, instead of working with others to create alignment and heart-felt passion for a shared goal, they apply humiliation, intimidation and bullying. I spent a fair amount of time this summer taking a crash course in control-freak behavior with the unusual dynamic duo Paul and Layne Cutright, experts in relationship theory and application.
Recently, I've noticed a variety of situations crop up with control-freaks. Control is a tricky subject, diced with "shadow" aspects of our personalities. Things we really don't want to look at by light of day. What is at the core of Control Freakdom?
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It's not much fun knowing all weekend that, odds on, you are going to have to let someone go first thing Monday morning. Especially in this economy. Still, there are times when it is absolutely necessary. And I've never been as certain that it was necessary as I was today.
Here's the sad thing. It wasn't because of downsizing. In fact, business is so good, we are in the midst of hiring. The reason was because
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When Rodney Johnson, President of HS Dent, a company that provides economic research, spoke in Dallas last Friday, I was there. I'd not seen Rodney, a long-time client of mine, present since several years ago when I was invited to speak at the annual HS Dent conference myself. It's always provocative to hear his economic insights.
At one point, Rodney referenced famed economist John Maynard Keynes, an advocate of government stimulus during recessions. Keynes often spoke of stimulating man's "animal spirits." A woman near me smirked, thinking Rodney was making fun of Keynes. He did have a point, but it was not so much about Keynes as referencing our current government.... When people who run companies and those who lend money are paralyzed with fear, they don't take appropriate risk to grow the economy.... That's what Keynes was talking about. But what Rodney then said was the reason why he brought it up in the first place:
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What struck me when I was asked to address a meeting at a client company today was how many were stuck in the "overwhelm loop." It was a perfect opportunity to explore some aspects of emotional intelligence.
I asked the group to describe what being overwhelmed meant for them and received great answers, such as "I shut down, stop caring." "It's when too many people are asking for too much of me, and I disappoint someone." They described how these states often lead to paralysis, anger, and frustration. ...Not exactly great emotional states for effective leadership, problem solving, or for dealing effectively with customers.
I asked how does it happen that some people are constantly overwhelmed and others rarely feel this way? Could it possibly be that some people get some "juice" or value out of being in overwhelm mode? Pretend for a minute that on some level being overwhelmed does provide the owner a benefit. What could possibly be of value about being in an overwhelmed state of mind?
A lot, as it turns out.
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